Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Stressful Saturday

Mothers, what you always do when you stress?

Hergghhhh...I need shopping therapy. Shopping is the best short-term therapy ever for stress and normally applicable to ladies (only). Hehehehe.

This Adelea issue, really make me worried to death. Ni baru sikit kan, but it still is a serious issue that I have to deeply see and value. Did try to shake them away; make myself busy at work, but it still there, haunting for my move and action for solution.

I went to office last Saturday, and Adelea followed me. I’m so happy seeing her so happy playing around, she likes the water dispenser so much, that she keeps on press it and drinks the water. She says the water is “dap (tasty)”...it just plain water la baby, I know it’s not that tasty, but you just like to press the dispenser knob.

Still, I’m worried, and I still need something to release them all.

I need shopping or....window shopping is fine, or facial, or mani-pedi, or threading, or hair cut or anything crazy that can replace with loud screaming, because I really want to scream!!!!

So, I call Asan, but he still at the office, some more my in-laws is coming this evening, and I don’t dare to drive alone to the Jusco nearby my house. Then I remembered about my long-time-ago plan to do some creative art for Adelea, so, that’s it. I know there’s 1 Stationery Shop at Kota Kemuning, just that I never drive alone there. It’s not a busy street, should be okay – try to calm myself. Parking should be okay because should be not many cars on Saturday. Will take from Bukit Rimau Road, instead of Kota Kemuning, because I don’t know how to drive at roundabout – I got my plan arranged nicely.

Laugh at me...yes..you may laugh at me. I still not dare to drive at roundabout.

Then suddenly, datang this crazy idea-kind-of-nonsense-tak-masuk-akalinstead of I take normal road, I take the alternative road, and that alternative road have 2 roundabouts, and that area is not busy – I should take this chance. Do something scary, and that should be fun.

My heart flutters with fear. I can do it.

Long story short, I passed through the 2 roundabouts and feel like want to shout for joy. Adelea was asleep at the back seat, so I just weeeehooooo slowly, and said this to her (I talk to myself actually),

Adelea, Mommy did something crazy just now. Something that I scared about. You see, if we are afraid of something or we have problem, we shouldn’t run from it. We should face it. There’s no use if I change you to another nursery, because one day maybe you’ll still meet Darwish at primary school. So, same thing. If you are afraid of Darwish, you should face Darwish. If he bullies you, you bully him back. If he says something bad on you, you just ignore because you know what, we can only close mulut tempayan, mulut orang especially yang jenis mulut longkang, susah nak tutup. But I prefer if you just raised your 2 hands as you want to pray and say “Dear God, please punish those who says bad on me. Amin”. Say it out loud in front of him. Or maybe you can add “his name is Darwish”. If he pushes you, bites you, pinches you, or anything, you just do the same to him, 2 times harder. And don’t feel guilty if he suffers or bleeds more than you, you just defend yourself. You should be brave. Just fight back........

I stop. What if, it’s not Darwish that she afraid of, but maybe the staff scolded her too much that made her so phobia. Darwish still small. Darwish is not the main suspect.

Adelea, maybe you should speed up your talking skill, so that you can tell me about your life at taska. So, if anything not right happen to you, you can tell me straight away, and the rest, you just leave it to me. Mommy knows what to do.

*singsing lengan baju*

At home, after lunch (late lunch), I asked her to do colouring together, at the same time teach her about colours. *actually, I’m hoping for she’ll tell me something about Taska*. But, I don’t get anything, other than she asked me to finish the colouring.
The Shawl tailored by me. *_*
You can guess which part I do the colouring, which part hers.

Then we take our afternoon nap together. Okay..it just me who nap, you still awake, busily watching your favourite Frozen movie.
I love and value this mother-daughter moment together

It still not solve Adelea’s problem. But, at least I know, this little girl is still Adelea, she still the same Adelea.

Ya Allah, give me guidance. Lead me to the right way to solve this problem. Avert suspicion and accusation before I know the truth. Blessed my daughter, and protect her from physical or emotional abuse, or any kind of abuse. Ease the way that I have plan to become reality soonest possible.

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