Tuesday, 26 August 2014

What I missed?


Recently, I found myself like to check my tummy in front of the mirror. Well, curiously checking out for stretchmarks, you guess it rightttt....ppffttt. I very much understand, once they reside on there, it will be not easy to get rid of them. I don’t have even 1, when I was pregnant with Adelea. So, I want to maintain that.

As I mentioned earlier, I do hope I’ll give birth earlier than EDD. It’s not about cannot-wait-to-meet-you-my-baby....you-so-cute...bla bla bla, but, I think I just can’t wait to do things I normally do, but now I cannot do because I’m pregnant.

First – I missed to wear heels so much
I’m so damn jealous looking at my colleagues who look so elegant in their heels. More more more jealous when come to office wearing their new heels. Like OMG, that’s new in market, and I totally missed that season. I’m totally in pregnancy shoe, and I hate my pregnancy shoe so much, although it has done a lot to me.



Second – I’m tired of wearing like I’m going to market, but I’m actually going to office
For this round, I didn’t buy new maternity clothes other than 2 maternity pants. I feel like I still can accept the old clothes *now I’m so regret I didn’t throw them away long time ago, if not, I won’t have this feeling*. The old maternity clothes are still okay, so, why should I waste more. In the past, I don’t really concerned with Aurat, so, I don’t feel anything wearing a legging with a tight shirt. But now, I don’t want to wear like that anymore. So, basically, not many old maternity clothes that I still can wear for this round. Shirt that I wear on Monday, I might wear it again on Friday. So, you see....the colour faded faster.
 
Why I buy this shirt I also don't know.
My sincere advices to Mommies out there – throw/donate your maternity clothes; don’t keep them for the next round. Buy new one, because you know, we going to have our body diameter change, hormone change, pain here and there, not to forget strechmarks, so, we deserve new maternity clothes.

Third – I missed to apply toner on my face
It silly, I know. But, my skin getting dull from day to day. Small freckles happily reside on my skins as if they having parrrr-ty and never want to call off. I read about toner’s not good during pregnancy especially during first trimester. I use toner from Clinique, its good toner though, but the smell is quiet strong, so, I decided I’ll just stop until I give birth.

Fourth – I missed being energetic and have no problem to move freely and fast
For example, to go pick up the print, I have to slowly get up from my chair and do a bit stretching and only start to walk. I feel very heavy. I don’t like it when people see me as weak. Asan always took me out for walk (in the mall usually) during my 1st pregnancy, but now I prefer to just stay at home, because I’m tired of walking too long.

Fifth – I’m 31 years old, and I just can’t wait to excel more in my career
You know what I mean. (Nobody wants to hire a woman who are currently pregnant....you understand the rest of the story)
 
I hope, I still in the same size
Sixth – I can’t wait to continue sewing
I have so many ideas for my next sewing project, but all are stopped at sketching stage. I missed my sewing lab. I missed my finger getting punctured by needles.

Seventh – I want to become a competent driver. (Competent here is subjective)
I dreamed off to be able to safely cilok here cilok there during heavy traffic, so, I can reach office in less than 10 minutes when I woke up late. Right now, I still drive at 90km/hr and religiously follow the queue. My colleagues say “You can, whether or not you dare...”
I can do, just that I’m not dare, I don’t want to take the risk.

Eighth --- ahhh....tired.

**********
I know, I shouldn’t have that kind of thinking. But, it’s a reality. Or at least that’s what I use to think. I still have that thinking...hahaha...this woman never regret, but I want to add the list.

Ninth and infinity – I pray for a longer life, so that I have the chance to raise my own children
I have many plans *currently in my head only which is easy to fade off* for them, thinking of to enrol them to this and that class.
I can’t wait for the moment I send Adelea to her first day of primary one, can’t wait for the moment I do the braids and finish with pink ribbon. Then, before I left her at the school gate, she shakes and kisses my hand, and I kiss her forehead. Oh yeah....that time, I’m a full time housewife and at the same time run my own business.
I can’t wait to go to my kids School Sports Day, and cheer happily when I saw them won the race, without I realize, my tears flow. I’m a proud mother when I attend Adelea’s Pidato competition, and when I see her giving her speech with so much confident, I know I have raised her well.
I’m looking forward to go to spa or to our monthly mani-pedi session, and then we talked about business, future, man, politic, religion and many more. I’m looking forward to have conflict, but I do hope it’s doesn’t take very long time to solve it.

I have so many...I hope and pray, Allah S.W.T ease the way. I know, life is not beautiful all the time.

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