Monday, 22 September 2014

Emosi anak pertama


Assalamualaikum & Hi,

I feel sad when I think about Adelea’s emotion. Since I pregnant with Emran, some tease her, told her that she no longer can manja with me or Asan as she will have a brother/sister soon. Cannot manja, cannot cry, have to learn how to take care of her brother/sister and many more. Eventhough, it’s right, but, sometimes it hurts my feeling. If I were Adelea, I’ll feel sad when people say that to me. Like...hello...I’m going to lose my crown, and you make it worse by saying like that?? Slap face!

Sometimes, I simply reply back to them, but I say it to Adelea “Takpe, Adelea boleh manja dengan Mommy & Ayah. Pedulikan diorang”

Dulu, apa yang Adelea nak buat, boleh dikatakan tiada batasan. But now, since 3rd trimester *I think*, the baby always being the reasons why she cannot do this or that, or why Mommy cannot do this or that.

For example, since 3rd trimester, I no more dukung her. We give reason “Ada adik, lepas adik keluar, baru Mommy boleh dukung”
Mula-mula, dia tak faham. Jadi, selalulah berlaku drama Mak Tiri memaksa anak mandi, ditambah dengan tangisan Adelea yang maha kuat tahap orang kat KLCC pun boleh dengar. But one morning, I woke up late, malas nak drama bagai, I just dukung her to the washroom. Then she said “toleh kung, ada adik. Tulun (Tak boleh dukung, ada adaik, turun)”
More or less gitulah dia cakap. Lama dah, I dah tak ingat sangat.
Rasa nak berderai air mata. I know, Adelea maybe tak boleh cakap dengan lancer, tapi, if we told her the same thing again and again, one day she’ll understand.

Tapi sekarang, problem lain timbul. When she saw the baby was out, she requests me to dukung her. Dalam pantang, mana boleh angkat benda-benda berat. And when she saw me dukung the baby, she might think “why Mommy can dukung baby, but not her”

I feel guilty a bit. We promised to her, she obeyed to it, but later we the one who broke the promise. So, you all, hati-hati nak berjanji dengan anak.

Same thing dengan duduk dihadapan kereta dengan saya. Dulu bagi alasan “Adik sakit”, masa berpantang bagi alasan “mommy sakit”. Last time, when we travel back to my parents, I took Emran with me to breastfeed her. Adelea said “Baby, duk akang, Mommy akit (Baby, duduk belakang, Mommy sakit)”
Sedih rasanya. But thank God, she seems to understand it.

Basically, she understands la yang dia dah ada adik, and Mommy dia perlu jaga adik. Kadang-kadang cemburu, kadang-kadang tidak. Once I cakap dekat baby “minum elok-elok baby, nanti Mommy sakit”
Sometimes, masa nak breastfeed Emran, Adelea cakap “nom lok-lok baby, ati Mommy akit”
That’s kalau mood dia baik. Kalau datang saka cemburu dia, dia pun sibuk nak tidur on my lap. Nak cakap “no” tak sampai hati. Nak taknak, I have to adjust space, so she can sleep on my lap while I breastfeed Emran.

Masa nak change diaper Emran, she want to help also. Samalah, tak sampai hati nak kata “no”. I just give her sehelai wet tissue and ask her to wipe nicely (just tap) on Emran’s hand, and say thank you for her help. Takpelah nak membazir sehelai wet tissue, asalkan dia rasa happy dengan apa yang dia buat.

I’ll always try to jaga Adelea’s feeling. I don’t want her to feel, now everything is all about Emran. Like I always say in my old posts, I want Adelea to feel she needs me all the time. I don’t want her to feel, she’s no more needed in family, I don’t want her to do things by herself because she thought Mommy not interested in her anymore.


But, not all the time she understands la. Sesekali ada jugak “Adelea ni apahal tak faham ni? Nak kena tampar?”

Hahahahaha. Emosi orang berpantang memang unpredictable. Berani?

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