Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Beautiful reply

Ever since I learned that I’m pregnant for the second time, one thing that came to my mind is “I’m going to breastfeed my baby until he/she 2 years old”. That time, I was not sure whether I want to do it out of current trend (breastfeeding is very popular currently) or I really want to.

Breastfeeding require lots of sacrifice (I call it sacrifice), in terms of energy, time, cost, emotion and many more. Other than that, moral support from people surrounding us especially our partner is very significant to make it successful.

Asan is kind of person who doesn’t like to think so much about things. I am very sure that, his knowledge about breastfeeding is limited to mothers got boobs, mothers breastfeed babies, that’s it... just breastfeed the baby, why make it complicated?

Men being men. We cannot scold them, but we can educate them about breastfeeding, make them understand that it’s not about solely feeding the baby using boobs, it’s more than that.

So, I discuss with Asan, trying to get what’s his opinion about breastfeeding. As expected, his answer is “okay”. While his eyes on TV.

Well, wife knows her husband best. I’ve prepared myself for this moment.

I told him, that this whole breastfeeding idea will be difficult if I’m the only one who struggles to make it successful. He seems puzzle as why breastfeeding will be difficult?
Breastfeeding can be such a delightful moment to explore if both of us hold hand together and put all of our effort until the end of the journey.

First, we have decided that we still will left our baby to my parents for 6 @ 7 months then only we take our baby with us. We still scared to put our little baby at Taska or babysitter. So, we have to going back to my hometown frequently, or at least once in every 2 weeks to supply the milk for our baby. It will require lots of our energy, time, money and so on. So, we have to arrange our time properly and also have to be careful on the budget.

Second, I need his full support on this. For example, if I got backache because of sitting too long to breastfeed our baby, I need him to give a light massage to relieve the pain.
If we going out to town and our baby is hungry, help me find a spot to breastfeed our baby. If people look at me with one kind, he has to look back at them with 2 kinds. He has to protect me from being scared or down for breastfeeding in public.
He has to help me on house chores and take care of Adelea if I have to spend lots of my time for breastfeeding.

Third, don’t stress me as stress will affect the quantity of milk produce (as per internet...hehehehe).

Fourth, when bad things happen, don’t blame each other by saying “this is all your ideas, so you should bear the consequences yourself. Don’t get me involve (this is us)”. We have to support each other back. Have to! If 1 falls, the other one should extend hand, not giving more pressure.

Okay, that’s 4 main things that I think is important to highlight to Asan. He might not get full picture yet what I’m talking about, but he must remember the key is “support each other”.

So far, we haven’t go through any event yet as per second point as I’m still in confinement period. But, when I told him, how stress I am when Emran keep on hungry, sometimes he’ll wake up after less than 1 hour of sleeping and cry so loud. Sometimes it makes me super tired and sleepy because I don’t have enough sleep, until I can’t open my eyes & just ignore the fact that Emran’s crying because he’s hungry. Sometimes, he’ll not sleep and keep on crying for no reason even I put him in baby cradle.

So far, his reply is not “that’s your idea........” Thank God.

There’s 1 time, I say something that a mother shouldn’t say, I don’t know...I’m just too tired and cannot control myself, but he replied to me with “sabar, takpe, nanti dah besar dia jaga awak pulak”

Something that I never expect the word is from him. Asan is not a sweet talker, at least not to me. So, I know he’s trying his best to be careful with his words so that it won’t hurt me and not giving me any pressure.

It shot me to reality. I realized, I’m not only need moral support from him, but I have to change my attitude. I have to be more patient, redha and Ikhlas with what I’m doing now. I’m no more in preliminary school that keep on complaining about unnecessary things.

In this breastfeeding journey, it has 2 perpetrators; 1 is the executor - me, 2 is the supporter – Asan. I am the executor, definitely the struggles part should come more from me, not him. He’s only the back support. Instead, I put him at the forefront.

Thanks Allah for a good husband you sent to me.
But, I still will complaint inform to him about Emran made me crazy. Just inform, and I’ll be careful with my words too.

1 comment:

  1. kita ingat lagi bebudak nye cite.. hasan tu kat sekolah je jahat..(nakal la ye) tp dengan adik2 n family dia baik gile.. so jgn risaula k.ros.. mesti dia boleh jadi suami n ayah yang sgt supportive..untung k.ros.. :)