Saturday, 9 January 2016

Minat dan dugaan

Few days ago…I happened to read a Facebook status from a Facebook user, she wrote about the bittersweet life endured by mothers who breastfeed and at the same time working 9-5. For the record, I love to read anything about breastfeeding, I surely will read until the end. For someone who is not much experience in breastfeeding like me, it takes a story like this to feel more motivated.

However, the main story about breastfeeding is no longer a charm when I got to the last paragraph.

“Lepas ni jangan nak PM ajak join business /MLM/bla bla bla (Cannot remember other than those 2…) sebab kena faham setiap orang minat masing-masing. Ada yang nak jadi lawyer/doctor/bla bla bla….” (I can’t remember the full sentence, but that’s the main point…)

I smiled. Mannnnn…I feel you. I was there too. Duluuuu. Before I joined the MLM business. I was one feel so annoyed when the business people look down on salaried workers.
After I joined, I regret so much because I didn’t join the MLM business EARLIER! The more I’m with the MLM people, the more I understand what the business people are trying to say. They did not look down on salaried workers actually, but what they want to convey is, by doing business, we can get more than what we wanted.

For example, myself. I want TIME; more time for my family and the most I wanted is to have a dedicated time to do Amal Ibadat. Takkan nak tunggu tua? Kalau sempat tua? Kalau tak sempat? Kebal kau nak tahan kayu api neraka? But, yeah, I admit. At this point, I still kind of hesitant to let go off my career. So, I choose to do both.

But, I don’t want to talk about masa. That will be long entry, so, later.

I want to talk about interest = minat. the girls.
I don’t know… to say this?

Since I joined business, I started to have more exposure on Islam. The latest one “Mudahnya Menjemput Rezeki” seminar. So much I learned from this seminar. But, the main point is “dependence on Allah – 100%”.

I will write later about this seminar (phewww…now I have 2 stories to write; masa & MMR seminar. I need more than 24 hours!)

Ok, so where was I? Ok, more exposure on Islam…

I started to feel, my interest is actually A TEST for me. I love accounting. But, for me to success I need to sacrifice my time taking care of my children. Instead of me to take care of my own children, I entrust babysitters to take care of my children.

Yeah, I understand, I heard (I don’t know it’s true or not), kerja juga satu ibadah. But, I started to question myself which part of my job that consider as Ibadah? I mean, I don’t know whether my children really eat or not. I don’t know whether my children was bath properly or not. I don’t know whether my children are okay or not. I don’t know. I trust the babysitter, since I saw my children are happy so far. But, I really don’t know.

I’m the one who supposed to do all that, but I passed the job to someone else. Am I not sin? If the Malaikat were to ask “did your children eat on which and which date?” definitely my hand will reply “we don’t know, we busy typing…” sedas kena sebat! Ngeri.

Can my job which is said to be as an ibadah cover for that? I believe it’s NO.

Account closing time. Report to be submitted by end of office hour. Its Zuhur already, but I said to myself, later, 3pm + I’ll go to surau & pray. 3pm + and I still have like 25% of the report to go. And I finish that 25% at 4.45pm. I sacrificed my Zuhur to ensure I submit the report within the timeline. Berkat ke rezeki yang I dapat ni?

Why I really want to ensure I submit the report within the timeline?
To ensure I keep my work reputation and standard always on top. So I have higher possibility for high increment & handsome bonus. So I can bring my family for holiday. Make my children happy. I can put more in my Hajj saving too. But, is that berkat?

The day that Tuan Guru Nik Aziz Nik Mat died, stories about him started to spread out in the social media. One of them that caught my attention and immediately rasa insaf sangat is about his education. All are about religion (Islam), here & there. I mean, he uses what he learned for Islam purposes. I can be sure, his education can be on one of the ticket for him to go to heaven.

Can my degree help me to go to heaven? Don’t dream too high for Syurga ke 7, am I qualified for the lowest level? If I were to ask by the Malaikat “what have you contribute for your religion with your knowledge?”
I started to doubt answer such as “I managed to submit the report within the timeline and minimize the variance. In fact, the variance in my reporting is the smallest among my colleague” will put a smile on the Malaikat face.

Yeah…then I aimed for answer like this “with the knowledge I have, I managed to teach many poor kids, and many of them end up being a successful person”.

Okay, when can I teach the poor kids? Okay maybe during the night, because I work during the day. But, I’ll feel tired from my day work. Some more, I need to check for my kids homework. The responsibility to teach my children is more precedence than teaching the poor kids. Ok, so weekend then. But, weekend is my ME TIME. I need time for myself!

Huh! I think so much. Yeah! I agree. Things about heaven & hell, cannot be taken lightly. Must serious & earnest to qualify myself to go to heaven. I can’t depend solely on my 5-times/day prayer.  That sometimes lesser.

So, that’s why I prefer business.

A friend of mine, already few years in MLM business, already resigned from her office work, is now managed to take care of her own family full time. Every single things about her family, she well taken care of it. From direct breastfeeding, sending off her children to school, pick them up, make sure her kids take the breakfast before go to school, attend her kids Sports Day, teach her children to recite al-quran
Pray Dhuha every morning after all her kids went to school, and perform tahajjud and all kind of Solat in the night. No afraid of being sleepy during day, because if she feel sleepy she can still take a nap ANYTIME. But, still, she shopping A LOT. Branded 1. Designers!

She became rich and rich, because not only she takes care of her Rezeki, but she also take care of the Rezeki provider; Allah SWT, double she take care of her rezeki. Wow! I’m so IMPRESSED. That’s what I want.

I mean…we can’t predict when we will dead. If let say the time is now, are you prepared?

I always say, I work hard for my kids. When I saw them smile, it give me strength to work harder. I don’t mind waking up so early in the morning, reach home at the end of Maghrib. I do all this for my kids. I’m willing to sacrifice anything.

Tapi, alang-alang kata nak berkorban tu kan…kenapa taknak berkorban something yang worth it.

Korbankan minat I, jadi full time housewife and do business from home, and I can be like my friend I mentioned just now. InsyaAllah.

All of the above makes me think, is what I’m doing now is really my INTEREST or a TEST for me. If I keep my interest, I have to sacrifice many things, potentially including my ticket to Syurga. But, if I let go off my interest, I could have almost everything, except 1; my INTEREST.

Guys, please, answer me. Which 1 is worth it for me?

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